I'm grateful for this chance to share a few experiences from my time as a missionary. I had the desire to be a missionary since I was a little girl. When I was 20 years old, I prayed to know if I should go on a mission, and the answer was no. A year later, at 21, I prayed to know again if the time was right, and the answer was not yet. I prayed to know again at 22, and the answer was that it was my decision. After studying it out in my mind, I decided that it wasn't the right choice at that moment. And when I was 23, I decided that the time was correct. I filled my papers out immediately and received my call in about a months time. I am so grateful that the Lord has allowed me to serve a mission, and that I have served at this point in my life and in the history of the church. What an exciting time to be a missionary! And I am so grateful that I was chosen to serve in the New York New York North Mission. It has been a privilege. There are many many things that I have learned, and I wanted to share a few experiences that have made a huge impact in my life.
My second day in the MTC, full of nerves and worries, feeling very inadequate and unable, I remember learning how to bear testimony in Spanish. My worries and my nerves calmed, because I knew that I would be okay. I could serve a mission if all I ever learned was to bear my testimony. Throughout my mission, I have relied so much on “Yo se que”. At the beginning of my mission as I struggled to learn Spanish, until the end when I gratefully defended and proclaimed the gospel of Jesus Christ. And every time that I have given my testimony, the Spirit has testified of the truth that I know. I'm so grateful for the promise found in Doctrine and Covenants 100: 5-8
“Therefore, verily I say unto you, lift up your voices unto this people; speak the thoughts that I shall put into your hearts, and you shall not be confounded before men;
“For it shall be given you in the very hour, yea, the very moment, what ye shall say.
“But a commandment I give unto you, that ye shall declare whatsoever thing ye declare in my name, in solemnity of heart, in the spirit of meekness, in all things.
“And I give unto you this promise, that inasmuch as ye do this the Holy Ghost shall be shed forth in bearing record unto all things whatsoever ye shall say.”
I have seen this promise fulfilled many times during my mission. When we were sharing the story of Joseph Smith with our investigator, Macy, the Spirit directed me to mention how he prayed vocally. I thought that that was a weird thing to mention, but I mentioned it any way. It was one truth that meant so much to Macy. She had seen the power of private, vocal prayers in her life. I didn't know that, but the Spirit did. And the Spirit taught her that the story of Joseph Smith was true largely due to the fact that he offered his humble prayer vocally.
Even with my testimony and my desire to serve, one of my biggest stumbling blocks during my mission, was my fear. It took me quite a long time to learn to rely on the Spirit. At the beginning of my mission, I was struck with so much fear. Fear of making mistakes, of being rejected, at not being successful. I didn't have faith that I could be made an instrument in the hands of the Lord, because my weaknesses were so great. Many times, when the Spirit directed me, I was too fearful to obey his promptings, but that changed.
It was when I was called as a trainer the changed occurred. I learned that because the Lord trusted me, he had called me to be a trainer. If the Lord trusted me so much, then I should trust myself too. I should trust that I can. I have learned that I can. I can do whatever the Lord commands. The day I was called to be a trainer changed my mission. I began to speak with more people, and sure enough, I could do it. I allowed myself to make mistakes and learned to laugh at them. I saw myself in a different light. I began to be the missionary that I had always wanted to be, because I knew that I could do it. The Lord trusted me! I'm so grateful to the Lord, to President Morgan, and to the missionaries that I trained, for having confidence and trust that I would be able to train, preach, speak, whatever it be. I could do it. I can do it, as I live the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
The Gospel of Jesus Christ pamphlet was one that we used at the beginning of my mission. One that I thought wasn't important, and pretty boring. But I have learned that it is the most important part of our message.
My faith has been tested everyday during my mission. From knocking doors in the Bronx, to contacting in Manhattan, to being able to eat all the food that was put in front of me in Connecticut, I need faith. It was necessary in every step, and every phase of my missionary work, and in my life.
I have recognize that repentance is a joy. As the Anti-Nephi-Lehies declared, God has forgiven me of my many sins, and has taken away the guilt from my heart (Alma 24:10). What a blessing it is to repent. I need it everyday.
I have loved making covenants with the Lord and helping others prepare themselves to make those covenants as well. Baptism has become more sacred to me.
The Gift of the Holy Ghost has been with me, my whole mission. He has lead me, and warned me, and kept me safe. I am so grateful for the Holy Ghost.
I have continued to increase my faith, to repent of my sins, to make more promises with the Lord and be worthy of the Holy Ghost to endure to the end. It is the perfect process to become more like Jesus Christ.
These things that I have learned have caused me to view life in a completely different manner. I have changed from the pessimistic, sad person that I used to be and have clung to the happiness that comes from God and His gospel. One of my favorite scriptures is Doctrine and Covenants 50:23 “And that which doth not edify is not of God, and is darkness.” I have come up with the motto: Always Uplifting. My goal is to uplift all those around me at all times, and I know the only way to do so is through the doctrine and atonement of Jesus Christ. I have developed hope in the Atonement of Jesus Christ and in God's love for His children. I know that He loves us. And I say these things in the name of Jesus Christ, Amen.
